Freshmen year

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It's finally over, just before Midsummer's. 

The end of High School was kind of crazy, not knowing if I get enough points and where I'll be accepted. I couldn't believe it when I got in to all 4 major IT-teaching schools in the country. After some consideration, I chose to go to IT-College.

Moving in to the dorm was a rush. I get the go-ahead only some hours before the office closed, we dumped my already packed things to the car and drove to the capital. I just barely managed to get the paperwork and keys before the office closed.

The dorm was nice and clean, modern furniture and essentials. No roomies yet. So I stayed and eagerly waited for the school year to begin. Living in the big city was strange at first, but I managed to assimilate in under two weeks. My roomie turned out to be an okay fella and he gave me plenty of privacy, going home at the end of every week. The guys next door (in the same apartment) didn't have any major flaws, but we didn't get further than 'Hi'.

When the school finally started, I was in heaven, figuratively speaking. The subjects were fascinating, the people fun (okay, bearable) to be around to. Some subjects (Physics) were difficult to pass, but that was more due to the uncaring professor.

The college social life, for me… nonexistent. I went to exactly one party, the freshmen one. Like high-school all over again. Groups of friends talking and the new guy in the corner, not my kind of a event. One up-side though: a girl, first-year, took pity of me (we were in the same English class) and started up a conversation. Awkward as it was at first, it was the start of a good friendship that resulted in not few late night MSN conversations. Never more than that though.

The English class was great, inspiring professor, befriended 2 dudes there, but the awkward factor remained, by fault of my own.

During high-school, I though I'd have a chance to find love in college. I did have a crush, or maybe even a bit more, but I never dared to express my feelings for her in a more direct form than riddles. I was afraid of rejection, but more so, being the ball and chain that would hold her down - I wasn't good enough for her. So I kept silent and made the most of the very rare moments I was with her, because unlike me, she did have social skills. When I wasn't with her, I thought of her and, surprisingly, she made me a poet. I wrote about a dozen poems inspired by her and put them online, anonymously. As time passed and I saw her less and less (the summer's approach tangible now), I managed to convince myself to let her go.

Academically, I passed all purely technical (CISCO, Java, PHP, Computer Architecture) subjects with flying colors because they were truly interesting, had some difficulties with others and flunked 2 - again, not nice professors. Managed to fix the flunked ones and got my overall thumbs-up at the end of the year.

Near the spring, there was a city-wide week-long series of events for the students. My courageous act of the year was to sign up for a workshop about improvisational theater, a thing I had greatly enjoyed in the past. Things went well and I was soon participating in the doings of "Improgrupp Jaa ( The people there were open, friendly and amazing. They inspired and encouraged me to interact more, socially, let down some of my inhibitions and barriers and be… more human, would be a good term. 

Got my first job at the end October, as a PHP programmer in a small IT firm thanks to my relative, who introduced me to my current boss. I'd been messing around with the language for some years and so the job in itself wasn't such a big challenge, at least easing in to it. They pay wasn't great, but it wasn't low either - allowed me to buy my very first laptop, something I'd been wanting for years. Working minimum of 40h a month took time from studying and the grades suffered. I'm happy with it, though. I only wish I'd started working 2 years back, knowledge-wise, I would have been capable for it.

Regrets… the environment in itself is great, I only wish I'd gotten along with my fellow students better, and the dorm/social life should have been more active and student-ish too (not talking about drinking here). Again, there's only me to blame for that.

The first year in college was scary, but freakishly awesome. Met a lot of new people, got some friends, had some good and bad times. A lot of loneliness because of my damaged social skills, a feeling of belonging from my work and interest-related meetings. The year was better than any I'd had in highschool. Wouldn't have traded it for the world.