I recently started rewatching my favourite moments of Whose Line is it Anyway, an improv comedy show hosted by Drew Carey.
One of the games was titled “questions only” in which the “contestants” tried to outwit each other with questions that would force the opponent to answer with a sentence. The original video can be seen below.
After “Like”-ing the video in Facebook I got a comment from a good friend, which, strangely enough, was in a form of a question.
Unable to resist the temptation, I responded. What ensued can only be described as a battle of wits, spanning several months.
The transcript can be seen below (Note that neither of us has given in yet so the transcript keeps on growing. It’s currently 250 entries long and published with the participant’s permission.). On a related note, our university English course had a section dedicated to asking questions and I tried to incorporate the tactics and tips learned there as best I could.
Carolys: Should I always answer a question with a question x)? 16 November at 19:14 Ando Roots: Shouldn't you? 16 November at 19:31 Carolys: Should I? 16 November at 19:33 Ando Roots: Do You think that I know the answer to that...? 16 November at 19:44 Carolys: You don't :o :o??? 16 November at 19:46 Ando Roots: Do you think I'm all-knowing? 16 November at 19:47 Carolys: Do you think I'm not? 16 November at 19:48 Ando Roots: Why do you need advice then? 16 November at 19:51 Carolys: Shouldn't people ask for advice when they're confused? 16 November at 19:54 Ando Roots: Am I confusing You? 16 November at 19:54 Carolys: Are you feeling confused? 16 November at 20:00 Ando Roots: Don't You know that there's no shame in admitting defeat? 16 November at 20:03 Carolys: Do you know why winning feels good? 16 November at 20:05 Ando Roots: Don't You know that they used to call me 'The Unbeatable One'? 16 November at 20:09 Carolys: Don't you know that people start avoiding me for a reason? 06 December at 22:50 Ando Roots: What reason would that be? 06 December at 23:10 Carolys: By telling you now I would ruin all the fun, wouldn't I? 07 December at 00:02 Ando Roots: Don't you think that talking about it could help? 07 December at 00:59 Carolys: Do you think talking about this in FB is safe and won't bite me in the a** later? 07 December at 01:05 Ando Roots: Are you finally realizing the threat social networks pose to privacy? 07 December at 01:42 Carolys: Are you finally realizing that I understand the risks, but am refusing to run away scared? 07 December at 02:01 Ando Roots: Are you implying that I'm a coward? 07 December at 07:44 Carolys: Are you implying that I'm stupid? 07 December at 08:31 Ando Roots: Can't we just be friends again? 07 December at 10:22 Carolys: Aren't we just having a little harmless fun =)? 07 December at 10:23 Ando Roots: Don't you think it went too far? 07 December at 10:25 Carolys: Do you really expect me to answer that? 07 December at 10:58 Ando Roots: Can you resist my questioning? 07 December at 15:34 Carolys: Can't you stop yourself? 08 December at 15:51 Ando Roots: ...from doing what? 08 December at 22:45 Carolys: Do you even notice, what you just did? 08 December at 22:46 Ando Roots: Care to enlighten me? 09 December at 00:40 Carolys: Wouldn't it be easier if you just read over what you have written? 09 December at 00:43 Ando Roots: Shouldn't you be more worried about the impending English essay deadline then my ignorance ? 09 December at 00:44 Carolys: Worrying would give me wrinkles, wouldn't it? 09 December at 02:04 Ando Roots: Aren't wrinkles the sign of wisdom? 09 December at 08:48 Carolys: Aren't wrinkles and wisdom more oftenly used to describe old age? 09 December at 16:10 Ando Roots: Isn't it more important to be beautiful inside? 09 December at 16:33 Carolys: Doesn't the world only care about the exterior? 09 December at 16:56 Ando Roots: Do you really care what people like P. Anderson consider 'pretty' ? 09 December at 16:59 Carolys: How did poor Pamela get in your way? 09 December at 17:03 Ando Roots: Is it your dream to be 'pretty', rich, famous and brainless? 09 December at 17:04 Carolys: Since when you think so less of me? 09 December at 17:19 Ando Roots: Don't you see it's reverse-psychology and rhetorics I'm using? 09 December at 17:21 Carolys: Can't you see that I'm just trying to trap you too? 09 December at 17:23 Ando Roots: Why on earth would you be so mean? 09 December at 17:29 Carolys: Why are you talking in riddles? 09 December at 17:48 Ando Roots: Is there a better way to make someone really think? 09 December at 21:57 Carolys: I think that saying what you really mean without mysteries is better, don't you? 09 December at 22:25 Ando Roots: Do you see many people express their true feeling nowadays? 09 December at 22:34 Carolys: And that's a negative thing, isn't it? 09 December at 22:36 Ando Roots: Don't you think that some things, good or bad, are better left unsaid? 09 December at 22:45 Carolys: Do you really believe that silence helps to make the world a better place? 09 December at 22:47 Ando Roots: ...and in Your mind, is it better to be blunt and have no private thoughts? 09 December at 22:55 Carolys: You can go straight to the point without involving emotions, can't you? 09 December at 22:59 Ando Roots: Didn't You learn anything from Equilibrium? 09 December at 23:10 Carolys: Do you think sci-fi movies are good for describing the real world? 09 December at 23:31 Ando Roots: Don't you see that one can learn much from these situations, no matter if fictional or not? 10 December at 00:24 Carolys: Have you lost your ability to differenciate between fiction and reality? 10 December at 00:33 Ando Roots: Would you believe that I've lived in my own world for more than a decade now? 10 December at 00:46 Carolys: Doesn't that make you feel a bit left out? 10 December at 00:48 Ando Roots: Why do you think I'm so grumpy? 10 December at 01:02 Carolys: Are you like Bashful then? 10 December at 16:53 Ando Roots: What do you think? 10 December at 18:11 Carolys: The real question is, what do you? 10 December at 18:47 Ando Roots: Why are you asking so many questions? 10 December at 18:52 Carolys: Why aren't you answering any? 10 December at 18:56 Ando Roots: Would you like to see Your offhand comments in tomorrow's editions of the yellow media? 10 December at 18:59 Carolys: What on earth might you be talking about? 10 December at 19:32 Ando Roots: Et vous? 10 December at 20:09 Carolys: As in high quality ladieswear brand? 10 December at 20:30 Ando Roots: Come again? 10 December at 21:25 Carolys: French quote? 10 December at 21:58 Ando Roots: Wasn't it obvious? 10 December at 22:30 Carolys: You think you're so smart? 10 December at 22:32 Ando Roots: Are You still under the opinion that You can beat me? 10 December at 22:36 Carolys: Are you still delusional about me falling into one of your little traps? 10 December at 22:38 Ando Roots: Wouldn't it be worth it through? 10 December at 22:44 Carolys: When is failing ever worth something? 10 December at 22:47 Ando Roots: Don't we learn from experience? 10 December at 22:54 Carolys: We do, really? 10 December at 23:21 Ando Roots: Was that almost a question? 10 December at 23:44 Carolys: Are you questioning my questions? 11 December at 00:02 Ando Roots: Surely You must see that it was a questionable question? 11 December at 01:12 Carolys: What if I don't? 11 December at 01:18 Ando Roots: Was that a threat? 11 December at 01:25 Carolys: Have you ever been truly threatened? 11 December at 01:39 Ando Roots: Are you doing it now? 11 December at 01:54 Carolys: Are you implying that I have the power to threaten you? 11 December at 12:56 Ando Roots: Isn't it a fact that the pen is mightier than the sword? 11 December at 15:05 Carolys: There is a big difference between getting stabbed with a pen or with a sword, don't you think? 11 December at 15:17 Ando Roots: Do you know that a stab wound made by a pen is quite hard to diagnose (that is, one could just be drunk) and is therefore more dangerous than a big bleeding sword cut? 11 December at 15:34 Carolys: Care to elaborate on your idea? 11 December at 17:41 Ando Roots: Which idea would that be? 11 December at 17:55 Carolys: Are you saying that you didn't provide me an idea? 11 December at 18:24 Ando Roots: Did I? 11 December at 18:32 Carolys: Could you? 11 December at 18:35 Ando Roots: Do what? 11 December at 18:37 Carolys: Why are you pretending to be clueless? 11 December at 18:39 Ando Roots: Isn't it what people with a mild version of ADD do? 11 December at 18:41 Carolys: Do you think that is an excuse? 11 December at 19:17 Ando Roots: What's the matter with you? 11 December at 19:18 Carolys: But what's wrong with you? 12 December at 04:49 Ando Roots: How can you be up at 5 in the morning? 12 December at 10:05 Carolys: The real question is, how can you be up at eleven, when I was supposed to wake up? 12 December at 13:50 Ando Roots: Why didn't you? 12 December at 14:44 Carolys: Why do people in general sleep in? 12 December at 23:07 Ando Roots: ...they were otherwise engaged and sleeping didn't take precedence until later? 12 December at 23:58 Carolys: But why can't people just wake up when their alarmclock starts to buzz? 13 December at 00:27 Ando Roots: You had to leave it within your grasp, didn't you? 13 December at 00:36 Carolys: You really have just one :o? 13 December at 00:44 Ando Roots: What do you mean? 13 December at 01:16 Carolys: Do you have just one ringing one to help you wake up in the morning? 13 December at 01:17 Ando Roots: Isn't one enough? 13 December at 01:18 Carolys: Whenever is one enough? 13 December at 01:21 Ando Roots: What would it take to wake you on time? 13 December at 10:44 Carolys: Why do you ask - have you gotten the expression that I am a lousy morning person? 13 December at 17:18 Ando Roots: Wouldn't you want to change your bad ways? 13 December at 17:28 Carolys: Have you ever considered not breathing for a while? 13 December at 18:02 Ando Roots: What are you suggesting? 13 December at 18:06 Carolys: Can't you read between the lines? 13 December at 18:14 Ando Roots: I'm a waste of space, aren't I... 13 December at 18:39 Carolys: Are you feeling down today? 13 December at 19:04 Ando Roots: How can you tell? 13 December at 19:31 Carolys: Women are more intuitive towards sensing moods, aren't we? 13 December at 19:42 Ando Roots: Was that almost a question? 13 December at 20:28 Carolys: Does being mean come naturally to you? 13 December at 20:29 Ando Roots: Would you help me become a better man? 13 December at 20:36 Carolys: Are you saying that you're bad or just that there is room for improvement? 13 December at 21:06 Ando Roots: Was that a no? 13 December at 21:40 Carolys: Are you avoiding my question? 13 December at 21:46 Ando Roots: Would you believe that there's no good answer to it? 13 December at 21:54 Carolys: You wouldn't believe me if I said there was? 13 December at 22:02 Ando Roots: You aren't going to tell me, are you? 13 December at 22:45 Carolys: You wouldn't let me get off the topic so easily, now would you? 13 December at 22:55 Ando Roots: What if I would? 13 December at 23:14 Carolys: Have you gone soft? 13 December at 23:15 Ando Roots: Care to elaborate on that? 13 December at 23:17 Carolys: I believe you might be throwing in the towel, am I correct? 13 December at 23:22 Ando Roots: What do you mean? 13 December at 23:23 Carolys: You really don't seem to like English idioms, do you? 13 December at 23:27 Ando Roots: How am I supposed to know them if I had no-one to practice them with? 13 December at 23:31 Carolys: But to practice them you should have to know them first, don't you agree? 13 December at 23:33 Ando Roots: Should I just pick up a idioms book and start learning them? 13 December at 23:35 Carolys: Don't you think there are many idioms in normal books as well? 13 December at 23:59 Ando Roots: Would it interest you that I don't read normal books? 14 December at 00:06 Carolys: But you do read books? 14 December at 00:09 Ando Roots: How could anyone live without them? 14 December at 00:10 Carolys: How can you possibly claim that the books you read don't use idioms and interesting phrases? 14 December at 00:11 Ando Roots: When did you hear me claim that? 14 December at 00:12 Carolys: Should I apologize? 14 December at 00:19 Ando Roots: Don't you think it's too late? 14 December at 00:21 Carolys: Don't you know it's impolite to reject a sincere apology? 14 December at 00:23 Ando Roots: Why are you so offensive? 14 December at 00:26 Carolys: Could it be because of the same reason why you're so defensive? 14 December at 00:32 Ando Roots: Aren't we going on circles here? 14 December at 07:24 Carolys: Do you really thinkt that's what we are doing here? 14 December at 09:12 Ando Roots: Are you mocking me?! 14 December at 09:12 Carolys: Are you dissing me? 14 December at 12:07 Ando Roots: Am I what you? 14 December at 13:55 Carolys: Writing FB comments in English class, really doesn't suit you, does it? 14 December at 20:05 Ando Roots: Is English Your favourite subject that you're defending? 14 December at 22:53 Carolys: Must one favourite just one subject? 14 December at 23:00 Ando Roots: Couldn't you be less philosophical? 14 December at 23:01 Carolys: Does it really bother you? 15 December at 00:11 Ando Roots: Shouldn't it annoy any student of Applied Sciences? 15 December at 00:56 Carolys: Are you saying that I am annoying you? 16 December at 11:54 Ando Roots: Why are you so negative? 16 December at 13:42 Carolys: Seriously, are you trying to convince me that you are the positive one? 16 December at 20:27 Ando Roots: Can you prove me wrong? 16 December at 23:22 Carolys: Doesn't the IT-student stereotype indicate that you pout a lot? 17 December at 00:13 Ando Roots: Isn't a pout the funniest expression in the world? 17 December at 00:14 Carolys: Why do you think that? 17 December at 00:16 Ando Roots: Do you know of something more spontaneous and funny? 17 December at 00:20 Carolys: Do you allow me to stop you right there and tell you something funny? 17 December at 01:43 Ando Roots: Do I have a choice? 17 December at 02:18 Carolys: Have you ever heard of ROTFLSHMSFOAIDMT? 17 December at 02:28 Ando Roots: What does that stand for? 17 December at 02:33 Carolys: Are you sure you don't want to try and guess? 17 December at 02:47 Ando Roots: Would you make fun of me if I did? 17 December at 03:09 Carolys: Who am I to laugh at others' failures? 17 December at 03:18 Ando Roots: Does it have something to do with cucumbers and hippopotamuses? 17 December at 07:42 Carolys: Doesn't everything? 17 December at 16:50 Ando Roots: What have you been smoking? 17 December at 19:03 Carolys: I thought that you were the one who has been acting funny recently? 17 December at 20:16 Ando Roots: Was I acting ... not funny... before? 17 December at 22:37 Carolys: What might you been drinking 8-)? 17 December at 23:02 Ando Roots: Don't you think that red wine is the noblest of alcoholic beverages? 17 December at 23:19 Carolys: Would you hate me if I said no? 17 December at 23:21 Ando Roots: Why do you think so? 17 December at 23:22 Carolys: You always say mean things when I like different things then you, don't you? 18 December at 00:06 Ando Roots: When have I done that? 18 December at 00:11 Carolys: Are you telling me that you don't even remember? 18 December at 01:52 Ando Roots: Don't you think that it's because that hasn't happened? 18 December at 13:35 Carolys: Maybe you are just forgetful in your old age? 18 December at 17:42 Ando Roots: ...how should I respond to that? 18 December at 17:50 Carolys: Shouldn't you just say what you're feeling? 18 December at 19:17 Ando Roots: Don't you think that sometimes it's better to keep quiet instead? Sunday at 00:03 Carolys: But before you were saying that people should express their emotions, weren't you? Sunday at 00:04 Ando Roots: Was I really? Sunday at 00:07 Carolys: Are you implaying that I can't read? Monday at 00:31 Ando Roots: Could I persuade you to sing in a christmas carol? Monday at 17:12 Carolys: Do you have any ideas how to make me do something as drastic as that? Monday at 20:25 Ando Roots: Would bribing you with something tasty work? Monday at 20:25 Carolys: Do you really think all people can be manipulated into doing something they don't want to do? Monday at 20:27 Ando Roots: What's so bad in singing a peaceful, slightly sad song with group of friends for the enjoyment of random strangers? Monday at 20:31 Carolys: Not all people can sing, you know? (Do you know that at least one of us doesn't have her/his voice at the moment?) Monday at 20:58 Ando Roots: Are you saying you can't hum or play an instrument either? Monday at 21:09 Carolys: Would agreeing with you now, make ma loser? Monday at 21:20 Ando Roots: What are you suggesting? Monday at 21:43 Carolys: What aren't you telling me? Monday at 21:48 Ando Roots: Did you really just ask that? Monday at 21:59 Carolys: So you are keeping something from me -.-? Monday at 22:15 Ando Roots: Can you imagine what would happen if there were no Secrets? Yesterday at 00:08 Carolys: Is there a reason why you wrote Secrets with a capital letter? Yesterday at 00:18 Ando Roots: Haven't you heard the theme song for Sorcerer's Apprentice - Secrets by OneRepublic? Yesterday at 00:52 Carolys: What happes if I know the song but haven't seen the movie? Yesterday at 00:56 Ando Roots: What do you think? Yesterday at 00:59 Carolys: Should I be scared? Yesterday at 01:01 Ando Roots: Can anything scare you? Yesterday at 01:02 Carolys: Do you think that I'm not human and therefore don't have feelings? Yesterday at 01:03 Ando Roots: Where did you get that idea from? Yesterday at 01:04 Carolys: Do you think I googled it? Yesterday at 01:20 Ando Roots: ...what?! Yesterday at 01:26 Carolys: What are you talking about? Yesterday at 01:28 Ando Roots: What are you talking about? Yesterday at 01:49 Carolys: Repeating one's question is not very polite, is it? Yesterday at 01:50 Ando Roots: Have I angered you? Yesterday at 01:53 Carolys: Do you think I would have lasted this long, if I were this easily angered? Yesterday at 01:59 Ando Roots: In a hypothetical world, where mankind is ruled by a giant, intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed? 23 hours ago Carolys: Do you need me to take you to an AA meeting or just to a place where there are white soft rooms? 23 hours ago Ando Roots: Could I have black walls with ping ornaments of my choosing instead? 23 hours ago Carolys: Don't you think that would be too dangerous? 23 hours ago Ando Roots: What about some gothic designs then? 23 hours ago Carolys: Don't you think the best option is that you don't go crazy? 15 hours ago Ando Roots: Isn't it too late? 7 hours ago Carolys: Are you actually admitting this in public :o? 5 hours ago Ando Roots: Is it my fault the society can't cope with anything different than the acknowledged standards? 5 hours ago Carolys: Aren't those standards always (slowly, but still) changing? 5 hours ago Ando Roots: Do you feel differently about me now? 5 hours ago Carolys: Should I? 5 hours ago Ando Roots: Who am I to tell you what to do? 5 hours ago Carolys: So you haven't been influencing me to become a better Internet user? 4 hours ago Ando Roots: Can anyone do anything to avoid the ripple effect? 4 hours ago Carolys: So you're saying that you are here today, because that butterfly wasn't stepped on, on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean? 4 hours ago Ando Roots: That's a little far-fetched, don't you think? 4 hours ago Carolys: I'm sorry, but isn't this just what you were talking about? 4 hours ago Ando Roots: You really haven't seen Stargate: Continuum, have you? 2 hours ago Carolys: What makes you think that -.-? 2 hours ago Ando Roots: Am I wrong? 38 minutes ago
Update: I admit it. I gave up. The last bit went like this:<
Carolys: We haven't learned anything about assuming things without evidence, have we? 23 December at 02:35 Ando Roots: Where do you think hypothesis come from? 23 December at 02:49 Carolys: Care to remind me in your own words what hypothesis? 23 December at 02:51 Ando Roots: Can't you name some yourself? 23 December at 02:54 Carolys: Didn't I ask you first? 23 December at 02:57 Ando Roots: Didn't you hear me call dibs? 23 December at 03:11 Carolys: When might you have said an awful thing like that :o? 23 December at 03:14 Ando Roots: How good is your short term memory? 23 December at 03:17 Carolys: How good is your long term memory? 23 December at 03:26 Ando Roots: Would you believe I remember the Big Bang? 23 December at 03:32 Carolys: How sleep-deprived are you? 23 December at 03:44 Ando Roots: Shouldn't you know? 23 December at 03:50 Carolys: I'm not responsible for your sleep deprivation, am I? 23 December at 13:43 Ando Roots: Should I deny it? 23 December at 21:19 Carolys: That would be nice, wouldn't it? 23 December at 21:20 Ando Roots: Will you accept my denials then? 23 December at 22:49 Carolys: What are you in denial about? 23 December at 22:51 Ando Roots: Don't you think I want an answer to that question too? 23 December at 22:57 Carolys: Are you saying that you are not interested in life's mysteries? 23 December at 23:50 Ando Roots: What exactly do you mean? 23 December at 23:54 Carolys: Don't you find yourself thinking what all of this means? 23 December at 23:57 Ando Roots: What's the meaning of Life? 24 December at 00:07 Carolys: Be honest, haven't thought about that question for a while, have you? 24 December at 00:16 Ando Roots: Haven't you ever found yourself pondering the same question? 24 December at 00:26 Carolys: And what about those aliens? 24 December at 00:27 Ando Roots: Do alien beings exist in the infinite, ever expanding universe or are we, humans, unique? 24 December at 00:31 Carolys: So you believe that humans aren't the only intelligent lifeform in the universe? 24 December at 00:37 Ando Roots: From a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, the universe could be seen as a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff, wouldn't you agree? 24 December at 00:41 Carolys: An objective viewpoint uses verbs like wibbly wobbly, then objectiveness is screwed, wouldn't you say? 24 December at 00:58 Ando Roots: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis? 24 December at 01:05 Carolys: Is this math-related anyhow? 24 December at 01:06 Ando Roots: Isn't everything? 24 December at 01:20 Carolys: So you are not going to tell me what you meant, are you? 24 December at 01:25 Ando Roots: What would you be willing to do to get my explanation? 24 December at 01:30 Carolys: Asking you nicely isn't enough =(? 24 December at 01:30 Ando Roots: Can't you think of any alternatives? 24 December at 01:34 Carolys: Is asking you with a slight hint of violence better? 24 December at 01:36 Ando Roots: Can't do any violence here, can you? 24 December at 01:37 Carolys: I can't send you viruses, could I? 24 December at 01:40 Ando Roots: Are you really agreeing to what I just said? 24 December at 01:43 Carolys: Have you gone blind? Saturday at 17:43 Ando Roots: Would you think differently of me if I have? Saturday at 19:40 Carolys: Have you noticed how many times you have asked me the same question? Saturday at 19:41 Ando Roots: Have you noticed how many times you have evaded from answering? Saturday at 19:45 Carolys: You must take into consideration how many questions you have left unanswered as well, mustn't you? Saturday at 19:46 Ando Roots: Why do you ask questions that can't easily be answered? Saturday at 19:50 Carolys: Would you prefer easy, yes or no, questions? Saturday at 19:54 Ando Roots: Is there ever such a thing as an easy question that's coming from you? Saturday at 20:04 Carolys: Are you saying that I like complicating matters for my own personal amusement? Saturday at 20:09 Ando Roots: Yes. Saturday at 20:24 Carolys: Seriously, how could you just give up like that? =( Sunday at 16:34